That's Not Love | relationship abuse resources

THAT'S NOT
LOVE!

A webcomic about ABUSE,relationships,trauma,and
LOVE!

Abuse isn't RARE

1 in 4 women (24.3%) and 1 in 7 men (13.8%) 18 and older in the United States have been a victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime. -The Hotline.org

ABUSE FACTS

Our MISSION

I created That's Not Love to educate and empower young people through visual storytelling to learn more about relationship abuse, and how they can spot and overcome it.

ABOUT US

You MATTER!

If you, a friend, or anyone you know is experiencing any type of abuse in a relationship seek help. Everyone deserves to feel loved, valued, and safe. You are not alone. You MATTER!

FIND RESOURCES

You can break the CYCLE OF ABUSE!

Information is power. Learning how to spot abuse and what you can do if you find yourself in an unhealthy relationship can help you break the cycle of abuse!

THE CYCLE OF ABUSE

Learn about LOVE and ABUSE

Read our informational blog posts to learn more about what is and isn't love.

RED FLAGS IN RELATIONSHIPS

THE RELATIONSHIP SPECTRUM

WHY DO I MISS RED FLAGS?

DIGITAL ABUSE

ECONOMIC ABUSE

SEXUAL ABUSE & COERCION

TYPES OF ABUSE

REPRODUCTIVE COERCION

EXAMPLES OF GASLIGHTING

POST-SEPARATION ABUSE

LOVE-BOMBING

EMOTIONAL ABUSE

FEAR, OBLIGATION & GUILT

INTERMITTENT REINFORCEMENT

HOW TO BREAK A TRAUMA BOND

Spotlight
Organizations

Learn about organizations, artists, and changemakers working to end domestic violence, support survivors, increase awareness, and elevate important stories.

SPOTLIGHT

From our hearts (literally) to yours, Happy Holidays! We wish you a time of joy, safety, and happiness with your friends and family. Remember, YOU MATTER!

-thatsnotlove

This holiday season, let’s come together to support those who need it most. Domestic violence shelters provide a lifeline to survivors and their families, but they need our help to continue their critical work. Here are some ways you can help give the gift of safety to your community:

DONATE ESSENTIALS
Whole families are affected by domestic violence. Contribute items like warm clothing, toiletries, non-perishable food, and toys for children. Many shelters post wish lists online, or on social media. Don't know of any local shelters? No problem! You can find shelters in your area at: www.domesticshelters.org

MONETARY CONTRIBUTIONS
Shelters often operate on limited budgets. Financial donations can help fund critical services like counseling, legal support, and safe housing...and the best part? You can use these contributions for your taxes!

VOLUNTEER YOUR TIME
Offer to help with administrative tasks, meal preparation, or organizing holiday events for residents.

ORGANIZE A DONATION DRIVE
Rally your community, workplace, or local groups to collect much- needed items for shelters. Consult with your local shelter first to understand their needs.

USE YOUR NETWORK
Share information about local shelters and their needs on social media or within your network to encourage others to contribute.

REMEMBER YOU MATTER
If you or anyone you know is experiencing signs of domestic violence, reach out for help. Domestic Violence often intensifies during the holiday season. There are resources available.

#happyholidays #givingback #holidays #safetyplan #safetyplanning #leavingabuse #domesticviolenceawareness #abuse #emotionalabuse #physicalabuse #coercivecontrol #reproductivecoercion #narcissim #narcissisticabuse #relationships #youmatter #abuse #abuseresources #boundaries #crossedboundaries

This holiday season, remember that gifts go both ways! Relationships are partnerships, not one-sided efforts. You deserve to receive the love and care you offer. Here are some things you should be receiving back in a relationship:

-RESPECT
-SUPPORT
-EMPATHY
-CONSIDERATION
-UNDERSTANDING

If you’re constantly giving without receiving, it’s time to reevaluate. You pour your heart into them—don’t you deserve the same in return?

If you or anyone you know is experiencing abuse, know that help is available. You deserve to feel safe and respected in a relationship. YOU MATTER!

(resources linked in bio)

#giftsgobothways #giftideas #christmas #holidays #safetyplan #safetyplanning #leavingabuse #domesticviolenceawareness #abuse #emotionalabuse #physicalabuse #coercivecontrol #sexualcoercion #reproductivecoercion #narcissim #narcissisticabuse #relationships #youmatter #lovebombing #intimatepartnerviolence #abuse #abuseresources #thereishelp #boundaries #crossedboundaries #verbalabuse #boundariesinrelationships #respect

The holidays can be a tough time for someone experiencing domestic violence. If you have a friend in need- it can be hard to know how to help. Here are 4 ways you can support a friend experiencing domestic violence this holiday season:

BE OBSERVANT
Pay attention to changes in behavior or signs of distress. Offer a safe space to talk without pushing. It may be hard for your friend to admit what is going on in their relationship.

OFFER PRACTICAL HELP
Assist with tasks like childcare, gift shopping, or connecting them to local resources.

BE NEUTRAL AND SUPPORTIVE
Avoid judgment and don’t pressure them to leave the situation. Instead, remind them you’re there for them no matter what. It often takes more than once for an abuse survivor to fully leave the relationship, but knowing they have support helps. Leaving is also one of the most dangerous times for an abuse survivor. They may not end the relationship if they believe it's too dangerous. Be patient and manage your expectations.

CREATE A SAFETY PLAN
If they are ready, help them plan for their safety, including packing essentials or identifying safe places to go. You can create your own, interactive safety plan with The National Domestic Violence Hotline's Safety Planning tool (link in bio).

REMEMBER, YOU MATTER!
If you or anyone you know is experiencing signs of domestic violence, reach out for help. Domestic Violence often intensifies during the holiday season. There are resources available.

#domesticviolenceawareness #abuse #emotionalabuse #physicalabuse #coercivecontrol #sexualcoercion #reproductivecoercion #narcissim #narcissisticabuse #relationships #youmatter #lovebombing #intimatepartnerviolence #abuse #abuseresources #thereishelp #boundaries #crossedboundaries #verbalabuse #boundariesinrelationships #healthyboundaries #unhealthyboundaries

Here are five gifts you can give your romantic partner this holiday season that cost absolutely NOTHING!

RESPECT
You can't go wrong with this gift! Respect is the foundation of a healthy relationship. Your partner will love you treating them with kindness, valuing their opinions, and honoring their personal space.

SUPPORT
This is a gift that never goes unnoticed! Being there for your partner, whether they’re facing challenges or celebrating victories, will make them feel truly valued and loved. They’ll appreciate knowing you’ve got their back.

EMPATHY
This gift speaks volumes! Showing empathy means understanding your partner’s feelings and perspectives. They’ll feel heard and supported, knowing that you genuinely care about what they’re going through.

PATIENCE
Patience is a priceless gift in a relationship. Whether it's giving them time to process emotions or space to grow, your partner will cherish your understanding and willingness to let things unfold at their own pace.

CONSIDERATION
Thoughtful gestures go a long way! Being considerate shows that you pay attention to your partner’s needs and wants. They’ll feel loved and appreciated when you make an effort to anticipate and respect their feelings.

GIFTS GO BOTH WAYS
Relationships are a two-way street, and it’s important that these gifts aren’t just something you give, but something you also receive. If your partner isn’t offering you the same respect, support, empathy, patience, and consideration, it might be a sign to reevaluate the relationship.

#giftideas #christmas #holidays #safetyplan #safetyplanning #domesticviolenceawareness #abuse #emotionalabuse #physicalabuse #coercivecontrol #sexualcoercion #reproductivecoercion #narcissim #narcissisticabuse #relationships

A safety plan is a personalized, practical strategy to help someone experiencing domestic violence stay safe, whether they choose to leave the relationship or not. It's a roadmap designed to empower and protect, covering everything from how to leave in an emergency to securing emotional support.

WHY SAFETY PLANS MATTER:
Domestic violence situations can be unpredictable and escalate quickly. A safety plan equips individuals with tools and resources to respond effectively and protect themselves and their loved ones. It’s about being prepared, empowering survivors with choices, and reducing the risks they face—whether they’re staying, leaving, or unsure about their next steps.

ASPECTS OF A SAFETY PLAN:
Safety plans can include, but are not limited to the following information: Safe places to go Emergency contacts Packing an essentials bag Legal steps & resources.

HOW TO MAKE A SAFETY PLAN:
Safety planning can feel overwhelming when you're going through a tough situation, but there are tools to help. You can create your own, interactive safety plan with The National Domestic Violence Hotline's Safety Planning tool (link in bio):
www.thehotline.org/plan-for-safety/create-your-personal-safety-plan

#holidays #safetyplan #safetyplanning #leavingabuse #domesticviolenceawareness #abuse #emotionalabuse #physicalabuse #coercivecontrol #sexualcoercion #reproductivecoercion #narcissim #narcissisticabuse #relationships #youmatter #lovebombing #intimatepartnerviolence #abuse #abuseresources #thereishelp #boundaries #crossedboundaries #verbalabuse #boundariesinrelationships #respect #loveisrespect #staysafe

Every home deserves peace this season. But for many, the holidays bring not joy, but fear. Domestic violence doesn’t take a holiday—and for survivors, this time of year can be especially isolating. Here are some reasons why abuse often INCREASES during the holidays.

FINANCIAL STRESS
The holidays can bring added financial pressure, from buying gifts to hosting gatherings. For individuals prone to abusive behavior, this stress can escalate tensions, leading to more frequent or severe abuse.

INCREASED SUBSTANCE USE
Holiday parties and celebrations often involve alcohol or other substances, which can lower inhibitions and heighten aggressive tendencies in some individuals, exacerbating abusive behaviors.

HEIGHTENED EXPECTATIONS AND EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS
The holidays come with societal expectations of joy, family togetherness, and perfection. For families already in distress, unmet expectations or unresolved past conflicts can trigger abusive episodes.

ISOLATION FROM SUPPORT SYSTEMS
Many survivors find themselves cut off from their usual support networks during the holidays, whether due to travel, family obligations, or controlling behavior by the abuser, making it harder to seek help or escape the abuse.

REMEMBER YOU MATTER!
If you or anyone you know is experiencing signs of domestic violence, reach out for help. Domestic Violence often intensifies during the holiday season. There are resources available. (link in bio)

#happyholidays #givingback
#giftsgobothways #giftideas #christmas #holidays #safetyplan #safetyplanning #leavingabuse #domesticviolenceawareness #abuse #emotionalabuse #physicalabuse #coercivecontrol #sexualcoercion #reproductivecoercion #narcissim #narcissisticabuse #relationships #youmatter #lovebombing #intimatepartnerviolence #abuse #abuseresources #thereishelp #boundaries

If a partner or family member consistently ruins the holidays, it could be a red flag of abusive behavior. Here's how this behavior might manifest and why it matters:

1. Control and Isolation
Abusers may sabotage plans to isolate their partner, refusing family visits, creating last-minute conflicts, or canceling gatherings. This cuts the victim off from their support system.

2. Emotional Sabotage
Starting fights, bringing up hurtful topics, or guilt-tripping their partner about celebrating shifts focus to the abuser’s needs and away from joy.

3. Financial Abuse
Abusers may withhold money for gifts, criticize spending, or push for extravagant purchases that create financial strain, using finances to exert control.

4. Undermining Traditions
Mocking or refusing to participate in traditions robs the victim of happiness and weakens their connection to their values and culture.

5. Weaponizing Stress
Abusers often use holiday stress as an excuse for their behavior, blaming the victim with statements like, “You know I hate the holidays,” or “If you hadn’t done X, this wouldn’t have happened.”

Why It’s a Sign of Abuse
Sabotaging the holidays isn’t just selfish; it’s a way for abusers to assert control, disrupt joy, and keep the victim off-balance.

You deserve holidays filled with love, peace, and mutual respect. There is help (resources in bio).

#happythanksgiving #thanksgiving #gratitude #domesticviolenceawareness #abuse #emotionalabuse #physicalabuse #coercivecontrol #sexualcoercion #reproductivecoercion #narcissim #narcissisticabuse #relationships #youmatter #lovebombing #intimatepartnerviolence #abuse #abuseresources #thereishelp #boundaries #crossedboundaries #verbalabuse #boundariesinrelationships #healthyboundaries #unhealthyboundaries

Thank you all for your courage and resilience, whether you are a survivor, or advocate- you are seen and appreciated.

This year I am thankful for inner peace, feeling safe, and all of the people who have made DV education accessible. Remember: YOU MATTER!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

#happythanksgiving #thanksgiving #gratitude #domesticviolenceawareness #abuse #emotionalabuse #physicalabuse #coercivecontrol #sexualcoercion #reproductivecoercion #narcissim #narcissisticabuse #relationships #youmatter #lovebombing #intimatepartnerviolence #abuse #abuseresources #thereishelp #boundaries #crossedboundaries #verbalabuse #boundariesinrelationships #healthyboundaries #unhealthyboundaries

Domestic Violence impacts the WHOLE family, not just the one directly experiencing it. It can impact children, finances, parenting, familial relationships, and life for generations.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, it's crucial to remember that help is available. Support services exist to assist families in crisis, providing safe spaces, resources, and guidance for healing.

CREATE A SAFETY PLAN
www.thehotline.org/what-is-a-safety-plan
@ndvhofficial

FIND HELP IN YOUR AREA
www.domesticshelters.org/help
@domesticshelters

#domesticviolenceawareness #abuse #emotionalabuse #physicalabuse #coercivecontrol #sexualcoercion #reproductivecoercion #narcissim #narcissisticabuse #relationships #youmatter #lovebombing #intimatepartnerviolence #abuse #abuseresources #thereishelp #boundaries #crossedboundaries #verbalabuse #boundariesinrelationships #healthyboundaries #unhealthyboundaries

Love is kind—it lifts, heals, and empowers. On #WorldKindnessDay, let’s remember that true love never harms, belittles, or breaks us down. Real love nurtures and respects. Let's spread kindness today and always.

#loveiskind #loveisrespect #relationships #kindness #abusesupport #abuseresources

We spoke with @esperanzaunited to learn how they have been serving Latinas and Latin@ communities through innovative projects to end gender-based violence for the last 40+ years!

Read more at thatsnotlove.com/spotlight/esperanzaunited
(link in bio)

#esperanzaunited #domesticviolence #genderbasedviolence #youmatter #abuseresources #thereishelp #physicalabuse #emotionalabuse #latina

STRESS is a natural response to challenging situations, but after an abusive relationship, stress can feel overwhelming and constant. Abuse can trigger your body's "fight or flight" response, keeping you in a state of high alert even when the threat is gone. This can lead to physical symptoms like headaches, fatigue, or difficulty sleeping.

Here are some ways you can manage stress after an unhealthy or abusive relationship --->

1. BE PATIENT WITH YOURSELF
Managing stress starts with understanding that healing takes time and there’s no “right” way to recover. Being patient with yourself is crucial. Allow yourself to feel your emotions without judgment—they are part of the healing process.

2. PRACTICE GROUNDING TECHNIQUES
Grounding techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or focusing on the five senses can help calm your body when stress peaks. These practices bring you back to the present moment, interrupting the cycle of anxious thoughts.

3. REACH OUT FOR HELP
Surround yourself with supportive people. Reaching out to a therapist, a friend, or a support group can provide a safe space to process your feelings and offer guidance on your healing journey.

4. KNOW YOU MATTER!
Healing isn't a linear process, and every bit of progress matters. Be kind to yourself—surviving an abusive relationship is an act of strength, and learning to manage stress is part of reclaiming your peace. YOU MATTER!

Resources linked in bio.

#stressawarenessday
#domesticviolenceawareness #emotionalabuse #physicalabuse #coercivecontrol #sexualcoercion #reproductivecoercion #narcissim #narcissisticabuse #relationships #youmatter #lovebombing #intimatepartnerviolence #abuse #abuseresources #thereishelp #intimatepartnerviolence #economicabuse #postseperationabuse #abusesupport #abuseresources #domesticabuse #abuseisnotlove #abuse

NEW CHAPTER ALERT! Read That's Not Love "Boundaries (Halloween Edition) on WEBTOON today! (link in bio)

#thatsnotlove #boundaries #healthyboundaries #domesticviolenceawareness #relationships #webcomics #webtoon #abuse #love #unhealthyrelationships #settingboundaries #narcissism

Trick or Treat! Remember these tips to stay safe this spooky season!

REMEMBER CONSENT!
Remember! Costumes are not an invitation for sexual activity. Keep your hands to yourself, unless asked.

WATCH OVER YOUR DRINKS!
Keep your drinks in sight and in your control- safety first, fun second! Watch your cup and watch out for your friends.

USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM!
Stay safe and stick together- use the buddy system to look out for each other wherever you go. Communicate with friends so you all know where each other are. Don’t let your friends leave with strangers intoxicated.

STAY CONNECTED
Keep your phone charged and share your location with trusted friends and family members.

KNOW YOUR LIMITS
Enjoy responsibly, and don’t hesitate to step away if a situation feels unsafe or uncomfortable.

KNOW YOU MATTER!
You deserve to feel safe and respected with a partner. If you or anyone you know is experiencing abuse in a relationship, seek help. You are not alone. (resources in bio)

#dvam #domesticviolenceawareness #abuse #emotionalabuse #physicalabuse #coercivecontrol #sexualcoercion #reproductivecoercion #narcissim #narcissisticabuse #relationships #youmatter #lovebombing #intimatepartnerviolence #abuse #abuseresources #thereishelp #boundaries #crossedboundaries #verbalabuse #boundariesinrelationships #respect #loveisrespect #happyhalloween #spookyseason #trickortreat #staysafe

Respect in a relationship involves valuing each partner’s individuality, opinions, and boundaries, fostering an environment where both people feel heard, appreciated, and equal. It creates a foundation of trust and safety, allowing open communication and healthy conflict resolution.

Healthy respect in a relationship involves valuing and acknowledging each partner's opinions, feelings, and boundaries, fostering an atmosphere of trust and open communication where both individuals feel appreciated and equal.

Unhealthy respect is characterized by dismissive or belittling behaviors, where one partner disregards the other's feelings and needs, leading to a power imbalance that can breed resentment and emotional harm.

Unhealthy respect can be a red flag for potential abuse, as it often manifests through dismissive and abusive behaviors like belittling a partner’s opinions, disregarding their boundaries, using insults or sarcasm to undermine their feelings, and failing to acknowledge their needs; if you or someone you know is experiencing these signs, seek help from a trusted friend, therapist, or support service.

#dvam #domesticviolenceawareness #abuse #emotionalabuse #physicalabuse #coercivecontrol #sexualcoercion #reproductivecoercion #narcissim #narcissisticabuse #relationships #youmatter #lovebombing #intimatepartnerviolence #abuse #abuseresources #thereishelp #boundaries #crossedboundaries #verbalabuse #boundariesinrelationships #respect #loveisrespect

“Love-bombing is the act of showing a lot of love or positive attention in order to make them do what you want; love-bombing is a type of emotional abuse” -@cambridgewords

In @laikastudios 2009 film, Coraline, based on the book by Neil Gaiman @neilhimself, love-bombing is shown through the acts of the “Other Mother.”

The “Other Mother,” uses over-the-top affection and attention to lure Coraline into her web. When she asks Coraline to get button eyes, it’s not just to “join the family,” but to be under her control forever.

When Coraline rejects her offer, the other mother shows her true face, kidnapping Coraline’s parents.

Just like the “Other Mother” in Coraline, abusers can put on a good face, but eventually they reveal who they really are. They also often abuse more than once, as we learn from the ghost children (the Other Mother’s past victims).

For potential victims of abuse and survivors, love-bombing can feel like the good scene in a romance movie…that over time, and sometimes quite abruptly, turns into a horror movie.

In the end of the film, Coraline escapes the “Other Mother’s” trap, even with the odds against her, just like how many abuse survivors escape their own situation; showing us there is always hope.

If you or anyone you know is experiencing abuse in a relationship, seek help.

#dvam #domesticviolenceawareness #abuse #emotionalabuse #physicalabuse #coercivecontrol #sexualcoercion #reproductivecoercion #narcissim #narcissisticabuse #relationships #youmatter #lovebombing #intimatepartnerviolence #abuse #abuseresources #thereishelp #boundaries #crossedboundaries #verbalabuse #boundariesinrelationships #healthyboundaries #unhealthyboundaries

Communication in a relationship is the open and honest exchange of thoughts, feelings, and needs, allowing both partners to understand each other better, resolve conflicts effectively, and strengthen their emotional connection.

Healthy communication in a relationship is characterized by active listening and respectful dialogue, where both partners feel safe expressing their thoughts and emotions, while unhealthy communication often involves dismissive behavior, constant interruptions, and unresolved conflicts, leading to misunderstandings and emotional distance.

Unhealthy communication can be a red flag for potential abuse, as it often involves escalating arguments marked by shouting, name-calling, and insults, alongside behaviors like stonewalling or refusing to engage in discussions, which create a hostile environment where one partner feels devalued and unheard; if you or someone you know is experiencing these signs, seek help from a trusted friend, therapist, or support service.

#dvam #domesticviolenceawareness #abuse #emotionalabuse #physicalabuse #coercivecontrol #sexualcoercion #reproductivecoercion #narcissim #narcissisticabuse #relationships #youmatter #lovebombing #intimatepartnerviolence #abuse #abuseresources #thereishelp #boundaries #crossedboundaries #verbalabuse #boundariesinrelationships #healthyboundaries #unhealthyboundaries

Abusers often know how to hide their true nature, offering moments of sweetness between cycles of harm. But kindness wrapped in control is still abuse. Don’t let temporary ‘treats’ cloud the reality of ongoing pain. You deserve love that doesn’t hurt—seek support and break free.

Here are some #DomesticViolence Resources:

@domesticshelters
domesticshelters.org is the largest online resource for free domestic violence information. Using the “Get Help” tool, you can find local domestic violence agencies with 24/7 hotlines for you to connect with an advocate and get help.
domesticshelters.org/help

@ndvhofficial (The National Domestic Violence Hotline)
Resources and support for anyone in the U.S. affected by #intimatepartnerviolence 24/7/365.
Call: 800-799-(7233)
Text: “START” to 88788
Chat online: thehotline.org

@rainn (The National Sexual Assault Hotline) Free. Confidential. 24/7.
Call: 800-656-4673
Chat Online: hotline.rainn.org/online

#dvam #domesticviolenceawareness #abuse #emotionalabuse #physicalabuse #coercivecontrol #sexualcoercion #reproductivecoercion #narcissim #narcissisticabuse #relationships #youmatter #lovebombing #intimatepartnerviolence #abuse #abuseresources #thereishelp #boundaries #crossedboundaries #verbalabuse #boundariesinrelationships #healthyboundaries #unhealthyboundaries

Support in a relationship involves providing emotional, practical, and moral encouragement to one another, fostering a sense of security and partnership during both challenges and celebrations.

Healthy support in a relationship is characterized by partners uplifting and encouraging each other’s goals and well-being, while unhealthy support often manifests as enabling negative behaviors, dismissing a partner’s struggles, or fostering dependency instead of empowerment.

Unhealthy support / lack of support can be a red flag for potential abuse, as it often involves enabling destructive behaviors, dismissing a partner’s feelings and needs, and prioritizing one partner's interests over the other's well-being, leading to emotional manipulation and dependency; if you or someone you know is experiencing these signs, it’s vital to seek help from a trusted friend, therapist, or support service.

Remember, YOU MATTER!
(resources linked in bio)

#dvam #domesticviolenceawareness #abuse #emotionalabuse #physicalabuse #coercivecontrol #sexualcoercion #reproductivecoercion #narcissim #narcissisticabuse #relationships #youmatter #lovebombing #intimatepartnerviolence #abuse #abuseresources #thereishelp #boundaries #crossedboundaries #boundariesinrelationships #healthyboundaries #unhealthyboundaries

Trust in a relationship is the confidence and belief that your partner will act with honesty, integrity, and reliability, creating a sense of security that they will respect your boundaries, keep their promises, and be truthful, even in challenging situations. It's the foundation that allows vulnerability, emotional safety, and a deeper connection to thrive between partners.

HEALTHY TRUST involves feeling secure and respected. with space for openness and vulnerability without fear of betrayal.

UNHEALTHY TRUST is marked by suspicion and insecurity, leading to jealousy, constant monitoring, and doubt.

UNHEALTHY trust can be a red flag for potential abuse, as it often includes controlling behaviors like monitoring a partner;s every move, isolating them from friends and family, frequent accusations of infidelity without cause, and extreme jealousy that leads to emotional manipulation or intimidation;

if you or anyone you know is experiencing these signs, it's crucial to seek help from a trusted friend, therapist, or support service. YOU MATTER!

#dvam #domesticviolenceawareness #abuse #emotionalabuse #physicalabuse #coercivecontrol #sexualcoercion #reproductivecoercion #narcissim #narcissisticabuse #relationships #youmatter #lovebombing #intimatepartnerviolence #abuse #abuseresources #thereishelp #intimatepartnerviolence #economicabuse #postseperationabuse #gaslighting #abusesupport #abuseresources #abuseawareness #domesticabuse #abuseisnotlove #abuse #trust

Abuse can make you feel like you’re being sucked dry, draining your energy, confidence, and hope. It’s a slow, suffocating process that leaves you feeling powerless- but remember, you are stronger than the abuse! Take back your power- there’s help, support, and a way out. Here are some #domesticviolence resources.

@domesticshelters
domesticshelters.org is the largest online resource for free domestic violence information. Using the “Get Help” tool, you can find local domestic violence agencies with 24/7 hotlines for you to connect with an advocate and get help.
domesticshelters.org/help

@ndvhofficial (The National Domestic Violence Hotline)
Resources and support for anyone in the U.S. affected by #intimatepartnerviolence 24/7/365.
Call: 800-799-(7233)
Text: “START” to 88788
Chat online: thehotline.org

@rainn (The National Sexual Assault Hotline) Free. Confidential. 24/7.
Call: 800-656-4673
Chat Online: hotline.rainn.org/online

#dvam #domesticviolenceawareness #abuse #emotionalabuse #physicalabuse #coercivecontrol #sexualcoercion #reproductivecoercion #narcissim #narcissisticabuse #relationships #youmatter #lovebombing #intimatepartnerviolence #abuse #abuseresources #thereishelp #boundaries #crossedboundaries #boundariesinrelationships #healthyboundaries #unhealthyboundaries #energyvampire

Its's normal to miss the good parts of an abusive relationship, but it doesn't mean you have to go back. You deserve safety and respect all the time. Love shouldn't hurt.You matter.

If you or anyone you know is experiencing abuse in a relationship, seel help. You are not alone.

(resources in bio)

#boundaries #healthyboundaries #unhealthyboundaries #dvam #relationships #consent #typesofboundaries #emotionalabuse #domesticviolenceawareness #healthyrelationships #unhealthyrelationships #abuse #love #narcissisticabuse

There are many different types of boundaries in a relationship. Here are some of them:

-Physical boundaries refer to personal space and physical touch preferences, defining how much physical closeness someone is comfortable with in a relationship

-Sexual boundaries involve consent and communication about what sexual activities one is comfortable engaging in, ensuring mutual respect and understanding

-Emotional boundaries protect personal feelings and mental well-being by setting limits on how much emotional energy or vulnerability one shares with others

-Financial boundaries define how money is handled within a relationship, including expectations around spending, saving, and shared expenses.

-Time boundaries refer to setting limits on how much time is spent together versus apart, ensuring each person has time for themselves and other commitments.

-Communication boundaries refer to the preferred ways of exchanging thoughts, feelings, and information, including how and when conversations take place, the tone used, and the comfort level with discussing sensitive topic

-Digital boundaries involve the guidelines around the use of technology in a relationship, including the privacy of personal devices, social media sharing, and how frequently partners communicate online.

-Material Boundaries refer to the guidelines around the use, sharing, and ownership of physical possessions, ensuring that both partners respect each other’s belongings and personal space.

Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries is essential for a successful relationship.

(if you saw me post this three times...no you didn't)

#boundaries #healthyboundaries #unhealthyboundaries #dvam #relationships #consent #typesofboundaries #emotionalabuse #domesticviolenceawareness #healthyrelationships #unhealthyrelationships #abuse #love #narcissisticabuse

wear purple for #nationalwearpurpleday to stand in solitary and spread awareness this #domesticviolenceawarenessmonth

#dvam #wearpurple #domesticviolenceawareness #intimatepartnerviolence

You're not alone. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, reach out for help. Support and resources are available- here are some of them:

@domesticshelters
domesticshelters.org is the largest online resource for free domestic violence information. Using the “Get Help” tool, you can find local domestic violence agencies with 24/7 hotlines for you to connect with an advocate and get help.
domesticshelters.org/help

@ndvhofficial (The National Domestic Violence Hotline)
Resources and support for anyone in the U.S. affected by #intimatepartnerviolence 24/7/365.
Call: 800-799-(7233)
Text: “START” to 88788
Chat online: thehotline.org

Womenslaw.org (A project of @nnedv The National Coalition to end Domestic Violence)
Plain-language legal information for victims of abuse and free email hotline

@rainn (The National Sexual Assault Hotline)
Free. Confidential. 24/7
Call: 800-656-4673
Chat Online: hotline.rainn.org/online

This post was created by @thatsnotlovecomic in collaboration with @domesticshelters
#dvam #domesticviolenceawareness #abuse #emotionalabuse #physicalabuse #coercivecontrol #sexualcoercion #reproductivecoercion #narcissim #narcissisticabuse #relationships #youmatter #lovebombing #intimatepartnerviolence #abuse #abuseresources #thereishelp

Both partners in a relationship are responsible for setting, maintaining, and respecting healthy boundaries…so how can you set and enforce boundaries in your relationships?

Clearly communicate your boundaries openly and directly to your partner, and ensure you’re both on the same page.

Be consistent about your boundaries even when it’s uncomfortable. Consistency reinforces that your boundaries are non-negotiable and helps establish trust in the relationship.

Set Consequences: Calmly explain what will happen if your boundaries are crossed. These consequences should be reasonable and focused on protecting your well-being, not on punishing the other person.

Follow Through: If your boundary is violated, take the appropriate action based on the consequences you set. This shows that you value your limits and are serious about enforcing them.

Reassess if Necessary: If your partner struggles to respect your boundaries, reassess the situation. Open a dialogue to discuss why it’s challenging for them, and decide whether adjustments are needed, but never compromise your core needs.

It’s also okay if your boundaries change over time. What you are comfortable with today, you may not like tomorrow, or you may discover that something crosses boundary for you after experiencing it for the first time.

Communicate with your partner if your boundaries change, and check in with yourself that your boundaries are shifting because you want them to, not because someone is pressuring, forcing, or manipulation you to do so.

If your partner is incapable of respecting your boundaries, or you cannot agree on boundaries, it may be a sign that the relationship is not a right fit. Boundary setting should be an open and mutual discussion, not a fight.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, reach out for help. Support and resources are available (link in bio)

#dvam #domesticviolenceawareness #abuse #boundaries #relationships #healthyboundaries #unhealthyboundaries #consent #abuseawarness #youmatter

You’ve probably heard of fight or flight, but did you know there are more types of stress responses?

A #stressresponse is triggered when in situations where we experience acute stress, perceived danger, or #trauma. These responses are our bodies’ natural defense mechanism to help keep us safe.

Four types of stress responses include: #FIGHT, #FLIGHT, #FREEZE and #FAWN.

When the FIGHT response is triggered, you may confront a perceived threat with physical or verbal aggression. This can feel like:

-Feeling agitated, angry, or defensive
-Raising your voice
-Physically lashing out.

When the FLIGHT response is triggered, you may feel the need to run away from a perceived threat to save yourself.This can feel like:

-Feeling trapped, or claustrophobic
-Feeling like running away
-Feeling anxious, or panicking

When the FREEZE response is triggered, you may shut down physically or emotionally in response to a perceived threat.

-Not being able to move
-Holding your breath
-Having trouble speaking
-Not being able to make decisions
-Feeling confused or numb
-Dissociating, or feeling detached from your body, or the moment.

When the FAWN response is triggered, you may appease in the face of a perceived threat in order to avoid or face further conflict. This people-pleasing response is common when it feels like being agreeable is safer than fighting back.

-Feeling like you can’t say no
-Agreeing to something you don’t want to do, because it feels safer than saying no.
-Not being able to enforcer boundaries

When you experience chronic stress or traumatic events, you may experience stress responses even when you aren’t in danger. You may find that certain words, sights, sounds, or memories trigger these responses disproportionally.

Knowing how you react to stress and what triggers you can help you find healthier ways to cope in your personal life and relationship.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, reach out for help. Support and resources are available (link in bio)

#dvam #domesticviolenceawareness #abuse #emotionalabuse #relationships #coercivecontrol #youmatter #narcissism #narcissisticabuse

In a relationship, boundaries are guidelines on how you and your partner agree on certain behaviors, actions, and interactions you are comfortable with.

They define what IS okay, and what ISN’T okay in a relationship, and can vary from couple to couple.

There are many different types of boundaries including:

-Physical Boundaries
-Sexual Boundaries
-Emotional Boundaries
-Financial Boundaries
-Time Boundaries

Boundaries can also be HEALTHY or UNHEALTHY.

HEALTHY BOUNDARIES involve clear, respectful communication of personal limits, allowing individuals to maintain their identity and well-being while fostering mutual respect in relationships.

UNHEALTHY BOUNDARIES are limits or behaviors that either violate your own well-being of the well-being of others. They often involve being too rigid, too flexible, or failing to communicate and enforce personal limits, leading to harmful dynamics in relationships.

Both partners are responsible for setting, maintaining and respecting boundaries in relationships. If your partner does not respect your boundaries and causes you harm, that’s not love.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, reach out for help. Support and resources are available:

@domesticshelters
domesticshelters.org is the largest online resource for free domestic violence information. Using the “Get Help” tool, you can find local domestic violence agencies with 24/7 hotlines for you to connect with an advocate and get help.
domesticshelters.org/help

@ndvhofficial (The National Domestic Violence Hotline)
Resources and support for anyone in the U.S. affected by #intimatepartnerviolence 24/7/365.
Call: 800-799-(7233)
Text: “START” to 88788
Chat online: thehotline.org

@rainn (The National Sexual Assault Hotline) Free. Confidential. 24/7.
Call: 800-656-4673
Chat Online: hotline.rainn.org/online

#dvam #domesticviolenceawareness #abuse #emotionalabuse #physicalabuse #coercivecontrol #sexualcoercion #narcissim #narcissisticabuse #relationships #youmatter #lovebombing #intimatepartnerviolence #abuse #abuseresources #thereishelp #boundaries #crossedboundaries #boundariesinrelationships #healthyboundaries

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THAT'S NOT LOVE!

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